I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
