I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize