Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
