I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
