She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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