M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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