covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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