come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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