Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
