why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
