Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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