Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
