i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
