I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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