did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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