Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
