We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Dick very happy bro
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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