Buhtt sex?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
