My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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