I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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