4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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