Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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