im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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