One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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