i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
