The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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