oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize