I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I need a burrito and a hug.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
