I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
