Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize