She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
