There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
no, he came in my armpit
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
