Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
PANTIES FOUND
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