So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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