brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's blow job season.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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