Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
