you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
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How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
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Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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