Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I understand Curling. That high.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
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I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
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the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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