Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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