He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
