The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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