standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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