Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
