so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
