I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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