Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize