There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
