She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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