Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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