so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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