you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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