A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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