Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
