Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room