found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
