I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
