THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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