i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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