Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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