You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
her vagine was all disorganized.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
