smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
time to smoke my breakfast
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
